Creativity & ageing. Family & beloveds – 3 songs for my Children.

An extract from A singer’s Tale. ©

War Time London. Bombs, Songs and a Baby. London SE13 in 1944. Mother Son Daughter Songs. ‘Where are you?’ ‘Give or take an Angel.’ ‘Mother’ John Lennon.

She was born on the 7th of April 1944. It was the day before the end of the Little Blitz, given the surname of a man who was not her Father. Higgs. It was a Friday. Good Friday and it was not a beautiful morning, and it would not be a beautiful day, and there was an absence of bright golden meadows and sunshine goodness in the world. A World at War, and people danced whenever they could to the Bands of Glen Miller, Lawrence Welk and Joe Loss. Louis Jordan sang ‘Ration Blues.’ and Frank Sinatra ‘Couldn’t Sleep a wink Last night.’ You could dance your troubles, you could sing your dreams, and pretend in those moments that your world was not hanging on a thread and dead could be you tomorrow. Those who were not buried or burned alive, gathered in the aching bones and broken hearts and got on with their lives. In London, people had expected to be gassed to death, a poisonous end. A time to live now pay later place. There may be neither time nor later. Yes, oh yes,

Oh what a Beautiful morning, Oh what a beautiful day…’ 

I did not meet my Father and barely knew my Mother. Consequently I have lived my life, often in confusion. Dwelling in sadness & loss, absence & why? I have struggled with identity, place and home. When my son was born in may 1967 I looked at his tiny face, and knew love for the first time. I became 23 years old 2 months before his birth. Here on this post are two songs written with my children Sam & Kasia in my heart. Lennon’s Mother was a catharsis of sorts. The Singing of it was overwhelming in its intensity I loved singing it.

Where are you?   ©   Sam.

A letter to my Mother and my older self. Song when I had my son Sam & discovered what love felt like.

v1.   

Your face, the one you have known so long.

 Was it ever a child, a child long gone?

 You see, behind the cast of years –

 buried deep inside time, old memories and fears.

v2.

You weep, for time you cannot keep, –

searching for a beginning to understand the end.

 You do not yearn for immortality, 

but to have known loving arms, to feel a heart beat.   

 chorus 

  Where are you? Who are you?

  Coz  when you see yourself, you see a stranger there.    

    And you want a little more, than being here –

    just feeling alright, on a good night, in a dim light.

v3.

    Did you, unfold a newborn hand?

    Kiss and hold me so close, falling in love.      

    Did you, holding on breathing in?  

    Did your eyes fill with tears, at the softness of skin?

ch.

Where are you? who are you?

 coz when you see yourself,

you see a stranger there.

And you want a little more, than being there,

just feeling alright, on a good night, in a dim light.

Give or take an Angel.© Kasia.

Verse 1

Tiny girl you are the centre of my world

I know our lives are just a tick in time,

you will fly on the wings of a feather on light winds

whenever you choose to fly.

Then you will find your own way not my way.

But I will watch for you always, willing you on my brave one.

Don’t wait for me its your time.

Chorus

Give or take an Angel

in a million years or more

You are my Angel flying on the wings of a feather, touched my love.

Verse 2

You ask me how old is our world?

a billion souls falling on earth –

to live just to die-

a million stars shining out there in the Sky

they died so very long ago.

Your life is now, touch it for me. And fly.

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